change

I've done a lot to rearrange
but is this a new start?
Have i really started to change
Inside this stone heart?

hastily scratched poem

Oh Father,
What have I done,
What have I done
Every Girl
They're just the same
another object for me
to play a game
Abbaprotect my eyes
I've rayed this prayer
One Too many times
Abba Erase my mind
God, I believe you make us brand new
But what, what can i do?
I've gone searching for you
Just to turn away for another night anew.
God restart my mind
I've prayed this prayer
Far too many times
God restart my mind.
I've done these things
Just too many times
Will i ever be whole

Worth it

Two songs have begun to stick in my head lately.
The two of these songs are
Amber by Stick to Your Guns

And for the less angry, but still slightly angry
Rise Against's Make it stop

These are 2 songs by very strongly committed atheists, that are all about treating people right.
As i've stated before, God works through non-Christian things.  We Christians we like to limit God to these things we find holy.  It makes us uncomfortable to see God at work in things that we don't quite understand. IE people we've marginalized in the past, or people we just have not shown love to.  Well God's definitely moved through these 2 videos in me.

Basically, the song amber, is about a girl who took her own life.  Its about how life came crashing down, and she did not know where to go. and people did not want her.  And make it stop, by Rise Against, is standing up for the people who get marginalized especially homosexuals.  With these things. these 2 bands, are saying to love people.

To express that these people are worth it.  They are worth your time.  They are worth being loved on.  These people should be spoken to, and loved, not protested against, not told their problems are nothing, but listened to, and tried to be understood for where they are at in life.  Not to be preached at, but to be lived with.  These songs really made me think

What about my words. I speak a ton. but really how positive and how inviting are they really?
God has shown me 1000 times that I'm his beloved, but how many times do i say the word gay, offending so many people around me? even when i don't realize it.

These songs, have reminded me, people. every individual. is in fact worth it. the anti-homophobia of make it stop, has really shown some light.  because of this, i want to remove the words, gay, homosexual, queer, and faggot out of my vocabulary.  Its worth it.  However, i speak alot. so you, any reader reading this, who hears me say any of these words. stop me, where i'm at, and say why are you doing that? Love them.

God pick me and prune me, make me grow. Help me to watch my tongue so that it is inviting and loving to Others.

Love Love,
Zekejones

i cant stop

God made these hands

But they just wont stop and

I cant pull myself out