An old song that meant alot.

This is an old Note i had posted on my Facebook way back.  And i was thinking about it so i'm posting it on here to get different feedback.

hey, after deleting all my notes, i have decided to write a new one.

This is inspired by a song on underOATH's new(est, not really new anymore) CD Lost in the Sound of Seperation, the song being Anyone dig a whole but it takes a real man to call it a home.

I'm no leader I'm just a mess

It's not the way it's supposed to be

It's just the way that it is

I'm afraid we are all victims here

And the one whose in charge

I've lead us all astray again

Oh, how the plot thickens!

Are we too far gone?

Are we too far gone?

We always assume the worst

We always assume the worst

I'm afraid no ones listening anymore

I'm freaking out

I'm so sick

I'm making me sick

Don't look down

Don't look down

The only thing in my way is myself

I'm just thinking out loud

I'm just thinking

How can I still be alive

I shoulda been gone so long, so long ago

I can't get away from it all

I messed up like I always do

I gave you nothing

I took you nowhere

You're still listening

I gave you nothing

I took you nowhere

You're still listening

The world around me

Has taken a turn for the worst

I'm left alone

Climbing to the top

Should I jump should I stay

Can I make another day

Should I jump should I stay

I am the one whose wrong x4

God forgive me

The background to this album/song is that Spencer Chainberlain the lead vocals, used to be complete and total druggie. He had told the band that he was having relapses. At this time the person they all looked to, and that was their leader had fallen. Being a band that constantly claims God and stands up for Him trhough much persecution this was a major letdown for all of them. After almost breaking up this CD was formed basically around Spencer's dealing w/ drug addictions from his past.

anyways, the song really hit me one night as i was praying and listening to them as the bands last Cd was a major part in the story of my salvation (Define the Great Line).

As it starts off, he is pointing out that no matter how much like a leader, or w/e he looks like, he's still humans, he still messes things up.

This is a problem i think ALL of us have. We all pretty much do not notice that people are in fact human. I, and im pretty sure many others, often lift people up to levels much higher than can be humanly achieved.

From here he moves on to say that his problems have many effects on those around him. IE "we are all victims here." It really makes me think about how much any sin in our lives really affects those around us. After coming out of a fairly crappy situation i have really seen lately how it affects everyone around you. There are people attempting to fix problems, those on one side hating you, and those on another totally backing you up.

Is this really how our problems should be handled? as i sitback and think, what ever happened to foregiveness? or respecting someone for his or her different views?

well anyways the song goes on, basically to describe everyone backing out on him.

People often feel this way, either where it hasnt happened or it has. But either way one gets that feeling alot. My problem is, i've seen it happen in churches tons of times. Not just specific single churches, i've heard stories from siblings, churches i have visitted, friends i've seen. This really makes me start to ask myself, is this really how CHristians should be acting? In a place where God is to come first, why shoudl someone feal left out? Why does someone have to feel almost, if not entirely, abandoned by those claiming so much of a loving lifestyle? Why is it that when someone has a slightly differeing view, his thoughts are immediately shut out, or he/she is ignored by groups of people b/c they are differnet. Is the message being preached of love. Is ignoring someone really loving?

I'll admit it first, i'm not perfect, I AM NO WHERE NEAR PERFECT. But as soon as you start acting better than me, WE will have a problem.

Lastly the song ends with,

I am the one who was wrong,

God forgive me

Since God is perfect and going ot forgive, why won't we? I mean honestly we cant have hurt each other so much that we cant possibly foregive one another. since everytime we hurt each other it hurts our creator? its impossible to have done that.

I've seen too many people hurt in churches, for simple thigns like a fight, a couple, a different view, or whatever. Where is love in htis?

No one is better than the next.

I am going to be finding a place i belong.

Lets talk, leave a comment, text me, whatever, i prefer talking in person though, tooooooo many mixconeptions on facebook but i will comment back wen idk when we'll see each other.