power

power, it so easily corrupts the men
and they dont even know it.
they just chase it.
You see. we like power.
Money, and Time, are power.
Control is power.
We love them all.
when we dont have them.
we fall.
It Scares me
How much I, we, i hate to admit it, but its me
Love power.
You see, we corrupt something great
to make it, so that we have power.
Dont get me wrong, but God is empowering
but we take it all to claim,
to use it for our own aim
We use lines to get out of the serving we hate.
we so quickly say,
"God didnt call me to do this"
I just dont feel right here.
Get over it,
were called to serve,
BUT really, instead,
we love power
Remember falling to your knees?
you said, Lord make something of me?
THen you turn away,
as you cant give up your power.
You strop reading your bible,
youre afraid of what you'll read
when uncomfortable.
something that takes time money and control.
3 things whatever youre asked to do will require u to give
we say, I just dont know if thats God
We worship Power.
Lord, fix me in this.
Help me say yes to you.
And no to the power, that i so so so much love.
power, it corrupts men without us realizing it.


*not a poem, just how i stated my thoughts

worth more than this

SO here's a real blogpost.

Today i had the unfortunate experience of being sick.
However prayer helped. you see when i woke up having multiple problems that would cause me to not be able to make a floor event that i had planned. (not a good thing for an RA to do haha)  I found that God had something better in mind.  You see, i could have been a sourpuss all day, been angry, and hated where i was, but i had wonderful friends, take up leadership roles. cause things to happen, bring me medicine, bring me food, and even just entertain me to keep a smile on a face that by all means shoulda been grief filled.

However as this day went on, I had multiple times of showers, and just time by myself to think.  So i thought. and thought, about ways to grow.  This is where what i have to say comes in.

You see, here's a story, about YOU, ME, and EVERYONE we now. this is like ultimate rad gossip ok?

When the earth was created.
God just existed,
"in the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God.  He was with God in the beginning"

However, he did something.
He did somethign truthful and good.
He created things.
Over time. (time lapses to be debated) needless to say, he is all powerful, he can sort of do what he wants. he set up a nature for us to understand him slightly and know exactly what he is doing though, and has promised not to break it.
Well he had created living creatures, and light, and plants, and water.  Then he always said they were good.
However next, when he creates the last thing he creates.
He, our Father and God, did something different he breathed life into us.
he made us different, he made us, after himself.
This ALL FREAKING POWERFUL GOD, made us to be like him.
However, he didn't put natures on us, for how we would act, like himself.
all He asked, is that we obey him.
Guess what?
We failed.
This seperated us from him.
(i know this sounds like a get saved now pamphlet, but its leading to something different i promise)
He then spends the rest of this book, explaining his search for Humans.
Ya know, its the Bible, check it out, its a good read.
(tons of good stuff in it, especially the Old Testament, like corrupt leaders, violent deeds, debauchery, ya know everything we fallen beings like in a good read. However, there's more to it)
You see he still breathed the breathe of life into us.
I believe, this is part of why he chose to show us ways to be saved.
If you are reading this, you probably know the rest of that story.
The point is the breathe of life.

Now,
Lets talk about people
You see, we fell away,
SO we are not perfect.
we let this sin nature take over us
but we have this hope in us, the breathe of life.
and we have this exterior hope, of God manifesting himself through Jesus

Well here's what this is all about.
Your Worth.
You were worth, the most perfect being, making a being to reflect him.
You see. we have let this breathe of life slip away.
To be honest, its sad, how negative we CHristians are.
You are worth more than the past of your life.

Youre worth more:
Than the attention from women you crave
than the fact that youre so madly in love with this guy, who will never give you the time
than how much you hate your past
Than the burdens of your family and friends
than the jobs you have
YOURE WORTH MORE THAN THIS
the fact that you've slept with so many people
the number of girls or guys you've kissed
youre worth more than the negative things i or he or she says about you to your face and behind your back
youre worth more than the ministry you wish to lead
youre worth more than the clothes you wear and the subculture you love
than the amount of money you have
than the political beliefs you have
than the arguments you can make for or against a belief
than the items you own
than the music you can play
then the music you wish you could play
than the bad poems you write
than the culture that tears you down
youre worth more than the self deprecating jokes you always make
than the defenses you always put up
than the music you love

You see, YOURE WORTH MORE THAN THIS CRAP
God, Abba, breathed the breathe of life into you.
why oh why do we keep cutting it off?

We spend our days gossipping, calling it seeking advice
we spend our time hating our actions, and talking about it to people
we spend our time complaining about situations
we spend our time seeking love in all the wrong ways

How about this,
Spend the next day, only speaking positively about life,
no matter what, if youre sick, if youre broken hearted, if youre hate filled at corporate culture, if youre tired of corruption.

Be the positive change

you see as humans we've learned that hatred is an easy way to unite each other,
IE, holocaust
Racist Groups
Gossip
war
beligerent responses to war, and acts of war
political feuds
the different denominations

But as people made in God's image
We have the breathe of life
Start breathing that
Start speaking positively.

Christians will be known by their love.
SO speak love, and life into people's lives.
Don't relate through negative stories, try and bring the downers up.


Norma Jean, a christian metal band i saw this summer, hit the nail on the head, as they were speaking about one of their songs.
The singer, Cory Brandon, said, This song is about the words you say, and how impactful they are. he then said, were always so negative, and pointed out that God never says to be that way. and said "I'm sick of that SH*T" a negative statement in itself, followed by yes, were a Christian band and i just cussed, but the point was made.  This negative statement ran through my mind, but it got me thinking.

Please, take the next 24 hours, and speak only positively, even about the smallest things
Love Love,
Ezekiel Miller

commit

are you in, or are you out?
Because i have all these doubts
You'ce claimed change
But you'll always be the same
Just a flirt
string words together to bring a guy to hurt
see when youre not someone i can trust
You were solely an act of lust
and well honestly
You deserver better from me
and honestly
I deserve better from thee
The respect i've lost
Is from everything you tossed
that night you walked
away and talked

culture

Desecrated by culture
i hate who i am
I've realize that who i was
It'd always last

Desecrated by culture
I've hated who you are
Youre just like any other girl
I could meet at a bar

We've all been desecrated by culture
And we hate who we are
But we seem to think
I'm better than they are

You've been desecrated by culture
A person so lovely
But I
I will never see it

I think i've fought a fight
And i know i've never been right
because i've been desecrated by culture
and i hate who i am

You've been desecrated by culture
so i'll never let you in
I've been desecrated by culture
So i'll always let you in

You see,
you and me
we've been desecrated by culture
So i can learn to forgive

We all have our pasts
to work through
and to become something that lasts
We've all been desecrated by culture
to be made new again

change

I've done a lot to rearrange
but is this a new start?
Have i really started to change
Inside this stone heart?

hastily scratched poem

Oh Father,
What have I done,
What have I done
Every Girl
They're just the same
another object for me
to play a game
Abbaprotect my eyes
I've rayed this prayer
One Too many times
Abba Erase my mind
God, I believe you make us brand new
But what, what can i do?
I've gone searching for you
Just to turn away for another night anew.
God restart my mind
I've prayed this prayer
Far too many times
God restart my mind.
I've done these things
Just too many times
Will i ever be whole

Worth it

Two songs have begun to stick in my head lately.
The two of these songs are
Amber by Stick to Your Guns

And for the less angry, but still slightly angry
Rise Against's Make it stop

These are 2 songs by very strongly committed atheists, that are all about treating people right.
As i've stated before, God works through non-Christian things.  We Christians we like to limit God to these things we find holy.  It makes us uncomfortable to see God at work in things that we don't quite understand. IE people we've marginalized in the past, or people we just have not shown love to.  Well God's definitely moved through these 2 videos in me.

Basically, the song amber, is about a girl who took her own life.  Its about how life came crashing down, and she did not know where to go. and people did not want her.  And make it stop, by Rise Against, is standing up for the people who get marginalized especially homosexuals.  With these things. these 2 bands, are saying to love people.

To express that these people are worth it.  They are worth your time.  They are worth being loved on.  These people should be spoken to, and loved, not protested against, not told their problems are nothing, but listened to, and tried to be understood for where they are at in life.  Not to be preached at, but to be lived with.  These songs really made me think

What about my words. I speak a ton. but really how positive and how inviting are they really?
God has shown me 1000 times that I'm his beloved, but how many times do i say the word gay, offending so many people around me? even when i don't realize it.

These songs, have reminded me, people. every individual. is in fact worth it. the anti-homophobia of make it stop, has really shown some light.  because of this, i want to remove the words, gay, homosexual, queer, and faggot out of my vocabulary.  Its worth it.  However, i speak alot. so you, any reader reading this, who hears me say any of these words. stop me, where i'm at, and say why are you doing that? Love them.

God pick me and prune me, make me grow. Help me to watch my tongue so that it is inviting and loving to Others.

Love Love,
Zekejones

i cant stop

God made these hands

But they just wont stop and

I cant pull myself out

i'm just like isreal

You ever notice, those times of growth, that seem surreal?
Ya know when u go like a month without stopping from smiling?
then out of nowhere.

A sin creeps up on you.
Not like the roaring lion, because youre prepared to fight that off with your stock sermon armor of God.
But it finds its way through a small crack in your protection. and creeps its whole way around your body.
It is that first thought, of judging a person as worse than you in church, because you've been growing so much.
Then maybe its that second thought, where you want to reem someone out for the wrongs they've done to you, not realizing how wrong you've been to them.  Then maybe that third thought, is when you look at that person with longing eyes just for a minute too long as they walk by.  Then you turn around, and do your best to respect her, even though she was the equivalent of a television show for your eyes a second go.

This sin, it finds its way in.
When were fighting the BIG battles.
It sneaks in from a tv show, or a joke.
It finds its way in through a song that brings up old memories.
Or in a movie that has content you did not know about going into it.
It deteriorates our armor.
It takes the battle were fighting, and makes it a losing battle.

then out of nowhere.
You stop enjoying worship. and you do everything you can to comeback to where you were, just a week ago.
Ya know. you start fighting the battle for yourself.
Instead of letting God fight the battle.
Its funny, as soon as we lose a little sight of God, because of sin seperating us. we immediately feel this need to fix it ourselves.

WHAT THE HECK ARE WE GONNA DO!? REALLY?!
really zeke.
You just messed up your walk with God.
and you expect yourself to turn it around.
Come on man, you've heard this all before.
You wont fix anything.
Youre the one who messed it all up.


Thankfully. that is just how i see myself in those times.
God sees me differently.  God sees me and sees everything he will do through me. not my failures.
And thankfully. God picks me up.
God starts to fight this fight for me.  And work out the 'big' and 'little' sins.
you see we need not to fight this. but to grow in God and stand up for ourselves as much as possible.

We have a God who has won the battle already.
HE stinking transcends existence.  I think he's won the battle we cant even fight by ourselves for us.

SO then the question is what do we do about this?
Because day to day we need to continue to work on how to better ourselves.

Well it can be summed up in the title of one worship song.
(seriously how cliche is this? zeke you can do better :P)

We were made for you (God).  We love God. in the song hosanna, it says when we see you we find strength to face the day.  God, you've won the battle, and you continue to fight for us in our growing. We were made for you, help us to live out that wholeness.

--Your Beloved Son

post 100

i'm afraid i've hurt a friend
Dont let this be the end
God to these wounds you'll tend

words

How many times do we as Christians refer to the creator of all things at Lord.

Yet we don't even think of what that word really even means.

Lord, according to dictionary.com means, "a person who has authority, control, or power over others; amaster, chief, or ruler."


Now when we refer to God, as our Lord and savior. it brings a different thought to mind.


We think of the savior part so much. how much God has changed us, and how God will bring us into Heaven instead of this idea of a dominating being.  Lord is the word for a servant or slave owner.  Now God lets us live our own lives. so he is not like one of them, but maybe. 

Maybe
We christians should start looking to God as a Lord.  a Being that needs to have control over us.  


Our tongues are something that kill us.  I gossip all the time and need to grow out of this.  God is to be our Lord. and the Word says that the tongue is like a double edged sword.  In order to tame our tongue, i believe we need help from our Lord. to help control us, and through us, our tongues.


So many times throughout scripture it says, they spoke and people knew it was the word of the Lord.  Or people knew that I am God (from GOd's view).  I believe, we need to let the Lord, control  us more.  Let God own us.  


Through his ownership. comes true freedom.

wanderer o' wanderer

I'm wandering,
idk where to go
Just wandering
with nowhere to go
God, stop my wandering

when did this happen?

I thought i was over this.
This thorn in my side

God, i know you'll remove it
Someday
Someday I'll be that man
that man i'm supposed to be

Am i a man now?
Have i got what i wanted?
The world has fed me what a man is

But i know
God, youre something  bigger
You know something better for me.
For the others too

God make me a man now?
Let me do what you've wanted

hate

Why is everyone so filled with hate?
I just want to see something Great.
God end this hate

trainwreck

I find myself here at a weird
place in life.
An intersection i've grown to hate
As this is too many years waiting here.

Its weird though
I havent been waiting still
this crossroads is huge.
Its that leap
into the patterns of life
I'd like to say i have things together
But i doubt i ever will

You see
I believe in a God who loves
and loves
and continues to love
But his people. continually push me away
SO i've been wandering

I'm the wanderer, who happens to be a trainwreck.
Wanderer oh wanderer,
I hope you find your way(Come Wind lyrics)
Thats me.
Still figuring out my way.

I fear growing up
I dont wanna get there
NEver to be stuck in my ways.

It scares me more than i've ever known
Just the thought,
Of cleaning up who i am
Being the man
The man that I wish i was.
that I doubt I'll ever be.

You see.
I go to a christian school
and i major in business.
But it scares me.
In my classes i learn nothing but  greed.
And i constantly see christians
Who only care for themselves

Sharing nothing.
When will we take care of each other?
God, i'm at this crossroads
Struggling to see you
and with why you made me a businessmajor?
God, is this right for me?

I just dont think it is
you see, i'm not just at a crossroads,
But i'm at a crossroads,
with 2 trains
That wrecked.
I'm a trainwreck.

Trying to combine
The God that i love
The punk kid that i am
And the business major.

3 contradictions.
God's gonna do something with this trainwreck

Trainwreck.
Watch it become something amazing.
Praise God

my progression of thoughts are weird

Sometimes, i get these strange ideas.
Most the time, though, i ignore it.
however, this idea stuck with me.
I'm going to write a book.
On a relationship with God
And being a punk.
And about GOd's work in me.
'to save a punk'
Starting interviewing people for part of it tomorrow.

swings

Everyday
Everyday i try and swing
swings, a place to pray
Where God brings me his voice
These swings
everyday i swing
Just to bring
me joy.
thank God for the swings

i dont have the time to rhyme with this one

When was the last time
We spoke for ourselves?
When was the last time
We let each other in?
Because honestly
I think we all act too pretty
The women wake up
And immediately do their make up
And the men
We act up every now and then
With our fake smiles
And a confidence we dont even believe in
I think we all act too pretty
When one does let the walls come down
Its ugly, gross, and we view hem as less
When that person.
That person is in fact the beauty
Of being set free
From the pretty.
That we all pretend to be
Honestly, i think we all act too pretty

me

Sometimes, i'm not myself
Make me, me
God just let it be
I know it won't
Until completely
I let you set me free

2 more yet again

I've gone back to ole ways
Ways, i've strayed from for days
God will i ever be hole?
If only God, if only


Fathers have you seen your daughters?
Fathers have you loved your daughters?
If you dont, he will
Dont let your daughters replace you.
Fathers, have you seen your daughters?

impatient

Go go go
Its all i know
Stop. listen. i need this

Burning

Back to the start
I've fought this fight
Just one too many a time
God
Throw me into the fire
Just so i might
Comeback a man this time

straightedge

Remember when you were sober?
You claimed a lifestyle
That now you dont but I
I stayed that way
Never will I stray
Remember when you were sober?

oh brother

why do i even bother?
donkey kong sixty-four
I miss my brother
the game is unfinished forevermore
God, find my brother

create a change

Going on drives
listening to songs
of the times
I just wanted to set the world on fire
I remember the tunes
And the squeals of the tires
I still wanna set the world on fire

addiction

This addiction rises once more
A slow deterioration
She's racing through my veins
Once again
She's racing through my veins
I've made these mistakes
Make me whole
Once Again

gossip

WE call it venting
but really
were just talking
to make another
become hurting
gossip
end it

living life

problems at church i see
God these things just cant be
Live the church, that you need

love love

Love, Love
love.
Love?
love!
God, make it happen.

lost

I find myself here yet again
Angry with the one who has held me in his hand
Thank you God
Thank you God

reality

Dont let this be a gimmick
Oh father, make it real
Make it real
i'd rather be sick
Than the fake that i am

oh no

Oh NO!
God, this just cant be
God, come be with me
God, come set me free
Oh Yes!
God let your loving arms wrap around me

control

Gain some self control
Control yourself
Gain some self control
      ashamed

selfish

I wish i was quicker to give
and slower to live
selfish

Simplicity

Simplicity
I got alot of things
Things of which none i need
simplicity

just a thought

I thank God for you
And exactly how real you are
In everything you do.
Just know
You set the bar
way too far

broken

God, i've saved so many
And invested in nothing
One day there wont be any

Many dream
But God
I just want to be me
Lord, are you OK with that?
Help keep me, me.


Have these eyes seen too much?
To ever gain the love?
Beloved, make me a man

family

Lord,
Love my brothers,
     and give peace to my mother
Protect my father
     and hug my sister

2 more

God is love,
And love is Real
God make me feel
Pure, like the dove


Go and do something
About the nothings
Go.

poems, i've been writing these short 3 line things. i've got a few here's another to suffice

Alot of my friends smoke weed.
And in the church, all i see is greed
God be all i need.

ummm been a while. yet again. but here goes.

Friendships will mend.
Addictions will end.
When the beloved realize.

I'm a Sinner, I'm no better than anyone else. a change of view. a change of heart. a new found confidence.

You see, i find myself, consistently sinning, consistently messing up.

Continually hurting my God, myself, and the people closest to me.

These things continually bother me, continually bring me down. Put me into a worse attitude. Focusing on me, a constant selfishness.

I see this as a result of viewing the Word, and Jesus wrong.
So many times we see the word (i say we b/c i know many of my friends who view it the same way) as this set of rules, and if you follow htem you will succeed, in getting to heaven, mainly if you follow the believing in the miracles of the cross, and everythign it stands for, not what i'm blogging about so i'm not gonna retell that story now.

But. This view of rules, and expectations that WE, ESPECIALLY ME will never ever come close to meeting, not as long as i'm a human at least, is so negative. When, ever in the Bible, does it say to be negative? to view these things as negative?

I have found there is a much better view of the Word.

TO BE FREE.

SO many times we think about John 3:16, For god so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son so that it could be saved.  I think we often look over the very next verse, and how much more important it is.  Because Jesus saving the world could result in a million stipulations but John 3:17 says, For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.  Jesus was sent to be a source of joy, 


Jesus was sent to FREE US! not to point out how terribly messed up we are.


(Disclaimer: we are to work on our faults, and better ourselves, dont get me wrong, and we are to do what we can in the process of becoming better, ya know help ourselves become more like God)


Jesus came to set us free, from our sins, from our faults.
I whole heartedly believe, that we as CHristians spend too much time condemning others, as a result of condemning ourselves.


We consistently point out our own faults, and hate ourselves, for where we continually mess up, and we take that out on other so we can feel better.


We in our heads, or as a "means of helping you better yourself" will tell a person what they can fix, and HOW WE GUARANTEE THEY CAN! (please read my sarcasm)  We judge in ourselves, at least we arent that far down this slippery slope? as we build an Ego, instead of a confidence that is holy.


This can be stopped.


Love God, and Love God alone. dont look at yourself. For if you love God, you will slowly fix yourself.
If instead of focusing on these negatives in ourselves, and focused solely on God, and his perfection, We coudl see all he sees in us. If we continually think of How wonderful God really is.  I beg you, try and spend your day praying, a prayer of praise to the Lord, to see how he sees, with his perfect eyes. We can see how he views us, and have that confidence, that is holy.  And see how he will fix us over time, and not give ourselves that ego, of "solving our own problems"


You see, God is holy, and without him i am nothing.
I urge you, view the Bible as a source of freedom, freedom from our human souls and body that are slowly bring us down a bad slope. Praise God constantly, so that he can fix us, and we stop trying to fix ourselves.  Ultimately it is his glory that matters.


For when we are reminded of God's perfection, The worries will wayne away, as we see financial problems, or hurts caused by people close to us, if we look at God, and how great he is, a way will be provided to pay for what is needed, and foregiveness will be found, somewhere within, and God will mend these problems.


With love, its been too long.
Zeke.


(sorry if this seems like the church, HEY EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT message, its not meant to be that way, but meant to be a means of peace in the storm, God Loves. focus on him)

God, are you asleep? Or do i just keep failing.

Its been a while.
A long while at that

Oh God, I find myself growing closer to some people.
But i find myself in Selfish, self destroying, relation destroying habbits
Lord, I thought these things were gone?
I thought these were things of the past?

I pray to you night after night
to take them away, take them away
To stregthen me, to be fruitful, and just in your eyes
To remove these fears, these problems
THese sins against U, against those around me, and even myself

I continue to hurt myself more than I help myself?

God are you asleep? or can You just not hear me?!
GIve me faith like the prostitue, faith enough to touch you.
Give me that great cloud of witnesses to love me, and prune me.
Lord, break these earthly habbits
These binding sins,
Destroy who i am, give me the faith that i need to win this.

God are you asleep?
God if youre awake, take away these pains
God if youre awake take away these sins of mine
God break me and Take me.

the past few days have been amazing

And God's definately moved, and shown me in many ways how he loves me, whether through strengthening friendships, or bringing in a certain special someone. God puts us in the right place at the right time.

Thats all i got tonight

!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOOK HERE LOOK HERE!

The other day i was playing Some Legend of Zelda, Ocarina of Time. (N64 game). Its pretty much the coolest game of all time. THere's literally only one thing about it I dont like. this little faerie follows you around the entire time. and YELLS LISTEN!  and it usually is trying to give you a hint at what to do. BUT is usually more annoying than anything.

This lead to some thinking.
How much noise is really in my life?
How much is being shoved in my face SO constantly.
And how much of that is SUPER self centered.
This media that surrounds everyone. cant just be one thing.
when youre on Facebook. ADDS are everwhere, on the benefits for you of whatever. Youre not doing one thing. youre perceiving tons of things.
With these noises and distractions, why are there so many?
Think about it, a simple check of the facebook, to see if that certain someone commented on your status, or sent you a message, and BAM! 3 chat windows opened, 3 adds taht are changing ever button click, and woah there you go, someone sending you a youtube link w/ 14 suggestions on the side, and an advertisement playing b4 you can even hear one stinking song. IT IS ALL trying FOR YOUR ATTENTION!
This all takes away from something much greater.
There is something, waiting for you to run away from all this though. Waiting for you to call on it, and it alone, and stir up some thoughts in your mind, to bring you closer to him.  To bring ideas of what each and every person should do, that WILL take them out of their comfort zone.
Yet we fade it out. WIth thousands of things. daily.

Silence. Heard of it? (eh eh, see what i did there?)

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him -- Psalm 37: 7


The wise of heart will receive commandments, but a babbling fool will come to ruin proverbs 10:8


These show us, that this constant bombardment is wrong.


I ask you. today tomorrow, SOON! Go be silent, and just ask the Lord, reveal yourself to me, Show yourself to me, Show me your will.


Do it, and wait, just wait for 20 min. Chill and wait, put the phone away. turn off the computer, Go outside, go away to where there isnt a bajillion *legit number* things calling your name, and listen.


LIsten to the silence.


Let it move in you. Let God show himself to you.
Moments like these, where I honestly want to hear God, are how I know he's REal. Are how I feel him, and Know him, and have a friendship w/ the Savior of everything.


Go! and be silent

Trends I see, that make me laugh

Why are people who are so 'indie' exactly like everyone else?
Why do indie and folk bands, pretend to be super poor and creative because of that? you are middle class and white. -its not that bad-
I see the 'artsy' girls, they are afraid to admit they are hipsters
Why's everyone afraid to be a hipster?!
Whats so wrong with a title?
And then once a title is placed on someone, why do they quit being themselves, as if they cannot betray the title?

Hmmm.....
why are the so called, 'tough guys' at shows unable ot take a joke?
Why do they also get super emotional about girls? and then blow up at people and then seclude themselves to just girls to gossip/showtheir soft side.... SCARY!!

Why do people insist that saying the F word is so udderly terrible, and then tell me to calm the F down?
Isnt using a letter to mean the word, the same as saying the word?
This seems illogical to me.

Howcome, when telling people 'were all equal' and then we turn around, see a person who has either had an abortion, or doenst agree w/ us on a minor theological debate (when far bigger things are happening in thsi world), or see someone in jail, or someone who has done drugs, or even OD'd on them, and we immediately say well at least i didnt do that. Or we see how much some people give, and say well, i give more time, i can give less money?  We say all equal, and then in our minds, develop these hurts for others to better ourselves.

Just things i notice.  If only, I can learn to love, I'd love to say i never judge others, or that I dont mess up. However, thats not true, I still fail in these, constantly. I hold grudges, i get salty, i struggle.

God teach me to love, for i am flawed

This week

Is about to be crazy stressful.
SO if you think of me,
shoot me a prayer
shoot me a text if u dont believe in the same views as me jsut to encourage me,
I hope i get through this w/ good grades.
Thanks!

Christians have killed a God of love.

By how we act, I say WE because i'm no better than anyone else.
And i regret that I cannot be a better person.
As God grows in me, it fixes things, but i will never be the perfection until another time that I seek out.

But I find these issues that bother me.

How can Christians be so homophobic?!
We rage over someone being gay, and so what if its a sin?! why do we keep arguing over it?! why cant we love them anyways? How is someone who is gay any worse than all the pastors who cheat on their wives, and go home and watch porn?  How is a homosexual in the church any worse than the amount of lies, and gossip that spread around churches so quickly?
Does this person make you uncomfortable? I assure you this, Jesus loves them anyways, as he does you in your sins.  And i'll look past it, and love someone anyways.

How can we be so pro life, yet hurt the women who have had an abortion so much? and Support Wars?
I have been yelled at for supporting democrats who dont want war, b/c they supported pro-choice.  how is that any different? pro life means you have to be anti war?! thats the killing of people.
Redemption is larger than we realize. And we refuse to allow that.
I could never kill a man. even in war.

Lastly on my rantage post.
Is how can this white collar rich development Christianity stay so comfortable wasting money on so many things that are solely for fun?  When there are people in the neighborhoods around us, who cant eat, who cant afford to pay the bills.  Yet we choose to ignore them, to stay comfortable?
How can we be so supportive of capitalism?! which is showing us that the rich get richer, and the poor are getting poorer.  We hear the word socialism and associate it w/ sin, and hate it.  Look at acts. the Disciples live it out in small communities.
However I wouldn't want to rely on the government to change these things.
I see people like Shane CLaiborne and the Simple Way, and I wish to do my best to be a part of something liek that someday.  Reachign the poor. Its a beautiful thing.
If we'd share, we could supply to everyone.
But no, we hoard our riches.

I wanna be this change, just right now, i dont know how.
But I do believe in A God who can do this.
Who can sort out the hearts of the lost, and those who do not even think they are lost.
I am no better than anyone.

simplicity

Just be glad in the Lord and Worship him.
Lord make me do this.
Get rid of my complexities
And allow me to just smile and worship you.

my first post journaling about a day

This idea is new to me.

But i thought i'd give it a try.
Today was fantastic, it started by staying out too late and climbing a building w/ a friend. who later on in that day, Would take me to a church where dad was the pastor.

This was more than a blessing.  I found this smaller church to be getting by. and Exactly where I felt I should be.
The message hit on the key points of not being a pharisee. making your praise to God personal. and not a public thing to be praised for.  It also hit on the fact of that how you look was not important. Pastor Becker spoke words that hit directly at home for me. All praise to the father for this.

The day went on and I found band practice to be more than a blessing. we got a song done, got a nother one next to finished. And laid out the next songs to come.  This is more than exciting. Song finished: Christian Version of A whore. I cant wait to play and fight along to it!

The day lead to setting up a group project. This went very smoothly. and lead into getting to see a video 'Tony' put on by the invisible children.  This was a documentary put together about how the african children get kidnapped and forced into war.  This hit home, and I wish there was more that I could do other than raise the awareness for this and recommend anyone support invisible children.  When I have no money i find it hard to be able to do so. But word of mouth is always a way to spread this.

Lastly was a celebration of my friend's birthday at taco bell. This was wonderful.  All in all, today was a great day, and the amount of good that was accomplished, and people working together was fantastic. All praises to Abba.

PS i miss my family

also, i think

I'm gonna start blogging about days, what made me mad, why it did, what made me happy, why that made me happy. Stuff like that. just blog about life and all. not always thoughts about the word. I'm not sure.

been tooo long.

I've been out of my Word way to much lately. and This is hopefully a coming back to it.

But today i noticed, Its hard to be a kid, out to bring love to the punk world. It frustrates me over and over,

And i often find myself seeing exactly why a punktype person would not believe in God. I PRECISELY SEE IT.

It kills. it makes me hate who i am. whether its the fact that I look for respect, or the fact that I have to fight for it. WHen it should be given to everyone.

I find Ecclesiastes to see these problems.  Its comforting

3:16 says, In the place of judgement-- wickedness was there, in the place of justice-- wickedness was there

ANd then it says in 4:2 and 3 says, And i Declared the dead, who had already died, are happier than the living, who are still alive, but better than both is he who has not yet been, who has not sen the evil that is done under the sun.

This reminds me.  THe innocence of a child, is what i long for so much, As i see myself continually sin against God, others and myself.  I find that I hate who i am. And I wish i could be brought back to the innocence I once had, Before i became jaded, before i become the kid, who wants to flip out, and mumbles, when his law teacher tells about the christians who constantly cause her greif, "i hate christians" or has to fight to prove the God of the Bible is REAL because he cant live it out alone, b/c he sees God differently than others.

Lord take me back to that childlike innocence Lord, SO i can do it right, so i can not become this.

yuppers!

Ask God to show up, and he will.

Psalms 2, hit me in a very hard way this morning.

As many people know i hate corruption. even though sadly I am often part of the corruption that I hate.
I also hate watching this capitalist country where the rich get richer, and the poor get poorer.  It makes me sick that Christians can continue to make large amounts of money while poor(er) people continue to lose money over and over.

It is disgusting that corporations will go into cities and destroy the town's local businesses and put more people out of jobs so that the higher ups of the company can make all the money that they want.  While heartlessly paying moms and dads minimum wages.

God brought peace to this hatred.
Psalms 2, talks about the rulers in the world gathering in evil, gathering for themselves.  It talks about "people plotting in vain."  It shows leaders. the high ups in the world at this time. being those who conspire.  This moves on to say in verses 4 through 6, "The One enthroned in heaven laughs; the Lord scoffs at them.  Then he rebukes them in his anger and terrifies them in his wrath, saying, I have installed my king on Zion, my holy hill."

Its not up to me to fix things. its not up to me to solve a thousand social issues that constantly bug me.  But God will bring glory to him, through the destruction of what causes these evils to happen.

zeke is flawed

I was quickly reminded i need to learn patience and self control today. that is all

Take it back -- New Empire

Take it back! was a phenomenal band I saw this summer.  The lyrics are pretty much straight forward about the things a person can see viewing how christians misrepresent God.  These are my thoughts on them.


I've been tossing in my sleep
Plagued by the things I've seen
I see grown men in the streets
begging for food to eat
I see a young mom in the church
Shunned because her baby has no father
I see a war on the TV
That leaves orphans in the streets
And I think to myself
what a world we live in
where people use God's name
to expand their empires
They say its just the way it is
That I should just learn to accept it
Well I beg to differ man
I won't give in
You villainous men
With your treacherous hands
Have taken away all the meaning in this
Road you claim to travel
Is in the path of his steps
All the while your the shell of a Christian man
So I won't tread lightly
I won't go quietly
I won't speak softly
I won't let you get the best of me
This has to end here
This has to end right now
No longer can we wait for things to all work out
Just open up your eyes
And look past your front door
Your sisters in the streets and your brothers at war
Compassion has been lost
in a nation built by greed
But we could be a generation that is truly free
No longer will we answer
To a king who wears a crown
But a king who ruled through peace
Then laid his life down
Rise up
Rise up true sons of zion
I will be the change I want to see in the world






The first part. Up to where people use God's name to expand their empires.
SPeaks alot.  Look at all the wrong people continue to use the name of the Lord to do.  How often are people supporting their soldiers.  I'm not person protesting a funeral (i think those protestors are retarted, along w/ most protestors).  However how can a person Go to war, the killing of people and claim it in a God's name. Who has continually said to forgive people.  There's a difference in ending torture chambers going to war.  SO many people, who for 'the benefit of the church' have been hurt/kicked out by a church.  Not everyone has had this simple white collar life.  Where worship is easy.  And you dont spend your hour and a half at church worried about home.  Not everyone has had the easy way to worship God.


"they say its just the way it is"
Were told to jsut accept it?
And live with the problems?
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!
Thats not what standing up for what you believe is at all.
If someting is wrong spark a fire, and cause the change that is needed to happen.
The fact that these lyrics speak a sad truth about what happens to those who see problems in the 'christian' theology is what sickens me.  Cause a change. Speak your own mind. Find your SOAPBOX.


This song turns around as he calls out the person who claims christianity. and says I wont speak softly. I wont just let this happen.  I'll be the change THat is so desired.  Please start to live this out.  My prayer is that I be the change i need to see.  I pray that You be the change you so desire.  I pray that I will continue to grow into a socialistic mindset and give to each other as they need.


This nation built on greed, has destroyed our compassion,  As christians we still only care about ourselves.  We see fellow people in streets, people causing violence, and we leave it.  We dont do anything to fix the problems at hand.  When will You see someone hurting and go and help them? WHen will i do this.  When will I end my selfishness. and Give it all solely to the Lord.


I pray that we will stop following these earthly kings, and start following the king that truely matters. the one that laid down everything for us.  The one that laid down everything for me, and for you.  I wish to grow in ways that I dont know are possible.  God it is through you alone that I have conquered anything that enslaved me before.  Lord it IS you that is redemption.

progress in my life

This is not meant to brag.
This is meant to show a readers where I currently am.
This should help the readers know where the thoughts that are portrayed on these blogs are coming from.

This is where God has brought me.
This is not my whole testimony though.

I have had alot of change lately.

God has caused great growth to happen in me.
I have truely felt a calling to apply for the RA position for next year.  Whether that call is saying I will get it or not is a whole different story.  Just to apply.  I did this, and applying for RA has proven itself so far to be quite beneficial.

Lately God has shown me to not fear having money one day.  But to live at a lifestyle that I believe God would approve of, and then use all the other money to feed others. and protect those who need it, and to cause CHANGE for the Lord to happen.

God has helped show me some great friends, that have truely shown me a loving heart as of late.
My sense of humor has continued to become more cynical, and my hatred for corruption in power, and in churches has continue to grow into something that i cannot help but continue to write different song lyrics about.

I have found myself doing something God had asked me to do for a long long time.  That i never went through with.  I thank God that i did this, but i am semi-fearful of what he wants of me next, other than to continue my education and glorify him at all costs.  (which is something that i NEED alot of work on).

Growth is a weird thing how God moves us along.
Sometimes instead of growing us to say no.  God has us do something that eliminates the decision.  To where I can no longer say yes to some of the sins that have plagued my life.

God take control.
Lord remove my hate.
Make it something to cause change, instead of something to cause issues.
Give me the words to say to praise you the most.

THe idea of loving thy enemy.

Many times people say to love there enemies, but how often does this truely happen?
How does one actually show love to their enemy?

A verse i believe that is often just skipped over by many readers because it makes them feel uncomfortable is matthew 5:40
And if someone wants to sue you, and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.

This is a lesson WE ALL NEED TO LEARN. ME YOU AND EVERYONE AROUND YOU.

how often are people constantly worried about their things?
Jesus the person Christians strive to be like, was/is SO loving and so unattached to this world, and attached to God the father,  Taht he says to give more than what someone is trying to take from you.

CLearly this is a love for an enemy that would not be explainable.  This love is something radical.
Losing stuff one owns to benefit someone else is one thing.  But giving to someone trying to steal from you.  I pray that someday I will learn to be able to do this.

That is revolutionary love.  Not just hugging your best friend next to you.

God is.

Today, Justin Mcroberts spoke at malone.

I really felt God move in me.
I realized this care for the poor that i need to have.
Thank you Lord. Continue to move, all praises be to you, anything good done through me, make it be only you, and not me, make it not to my glory.  Break my pride for you.

I fear owning money someday, however, I want to someday earn money, to give it.  Make more to give more.  Stay at a cheaper lifestyle, by giving away as much as possible.

He said something that made me think.
We put God in this limited mind, of what is sacred.
WHAT IS SACRED?!
God made everything.  He made this earth, who are we to limit God to where he can move?
Sacred is the Earth.  Limitting God like this shows that we are letting sin trample over our Christian walks

God is victory.  God has one the battles.  Yet we let sin control our lives.
God is above these sins in our life.  God can help us to not do these things anymore.  God can help him find us, in what we find to be the "secular" when really the secular, is the world that he died for.

THere is no sacred or holier than.  There is just God.  People expressing themselves are expressing themselves.  If we lived out the love that God so quickly shows us, then we can move on.  WHY IS IT SO HARD TO EXPLAIN TO SOMEONE THAT I LEARNED SOMETHING ABOUT GOD FROM NOFX?! a band that hates God.

THese are the thoughts of today.
God created everything.
God is moving in people as they grow up and become stronger people
Whether they recognize God or not is a different thing, but when going somewhere we need to see that God already IS there.

Because God is, its not that we as people bring God. God just IS.

been a while since

Hopefully i'll do one tonight
I havent had any huge passions about anything lately, or even enough to write about.
Hopefully tonight i'll post

this song points out a sad truth that i see too often.

Think about how you were raised into CHristianity by the CHristian family/church/school, whatever influenced you towards it as a small child.

If youre story is anything like mine, You accepted Christ at a very young age, not knowing much about CHristianity or what it truely ment, ACCEPT that it was your "get out of hell free" card.  Then growing up things change.  However as I grew up, I became super close-minded.  I began to shut out other people's beliefs, even if they were similar to mine, and became your typical SUPER RADICAL CONSERVATIVE GONNA GO INSANE WHEN SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH ME FAGGOT THAT I HATE NOW.  sorry the caps was necessary.  Ummm... College hit, and i began to think things through alot more.  This hit in a weird way as for a few months, i had walked away from God b/c i had truely seen part of the darker side of "christian" churches.  (which, i will blog about this another day) the current churches do not actually represent what the Bible displays as a group of people meeting to worship.  As i was removed from a church that i was actively a part of by stating that I had different beliefs than them, and I am in fact supporting socialistic ideals, and am secure in my faith while voting democratic at times.  (I am very NOT partisan, i believe an issue should be tackled by the issue itself and what the results will be on which way the vote goes.)   With this, I had found that Christians had made me hate 'their' God.  The majority of this time, i found that the god i hated was the god of greed and i'm-better-than-you-syndrome.  Both of these continue to piss me off.

With this, as i am where i am today, changed, and broken for these people.  God has taught me HE is bigger than them, or any amount of hatred that can fester inside of me and cause me to forgive.  This song displays this fantastically.

smile

When life seems to be getting worse, and stresses tend to appear from out of nowhere, and the ability to focus has entirely left your mind.  Take a deep breathe, and smile.  Think about the positives.  Dont let thoughts of 'you being the only one going through this' take control of your mind.  Look where you are at. WHether in college, working, or in high school.  Realize you are getting education and the power you need.

Be reminded of this simple thing.
You are this small insignificant person.  In an infinite universe.  Be reminded when that girl or guy you like has a new bf/gf and it hurts you inside.  That you essentially mean not a whole lot because there is far more out there than humans can even acknowledge.  And with this that the creator God, who has continually shown us love and spoiled us with his blessings and growth. DOES NOT NEED YOU.  This is a pride level that we as CHristians tend to have.  That God has to use us to show his will to the people in our lives.  Realize he's omnipotent, and that we really arent needed.  He can do what he wants.

BUT! this si a big BUT, so i'mma say it twice

BUT!
He chooses you!
You are God's favorite.
This everlasting being who is far beyond anythign we can understand and more powerful than the mind can conceive chooses you, and wants you, and desires you.

Stop thinking you can hurt God, and that he NEEDS you.  His love covers those things.

Be loved,
Rest now.

intentions

Whats your intent? Whats my intent?

I find that soooo many times when there is a gray area in morals people say its about the heart behind thesituation.

This really means whats the person intent.

Finding that intent affects how stuff plays out is a huge way to change the actions one does for the better.

Whats the intent for the blogposts? self praise? or acknowledgements to what the Holy one is teaching, and how to apply, and sometimes fun things about malone people.  Whats my true intent?

I find that i'd love to say its all to bring God more glory, I really wish i could, but sometimes i think maybe i am even writing this own post so that people will think that i myself am humble...

Whats my intent? whats your intent?

Back by popular demand

My 3rd Malone Stereotype
The Malone Scene Kid

I'll begin w/ the list beginning on the bottom going up

1. Slip on shoes

2. Skinny Jeans/Mesh Shorts

3. Guitar with them constantly

4. Metal/Noise band shirt

5. V-Neck

6. Bicep Tattoos, prolly a verse of a song

7. Chest Piece (someting meaningful)

8. Thick Beard (the coolest type of beard)

9. 1/2" to 1" plugs

10. Thick Rim Glasses

11. Beanie

12. Usually a joke haircut underneath the beanie, IE mullet, or a super small mohawk.

The Malone Scene Kid tends to thrive on Lower Gurney

These kids tend to thrive on their bromantic love for each other, and have a brotherhood that will accept anyone.  There are many unique styles of music loved by these kids from the people who tend ot only like metal and get made fun of for listening ot king diamond, to the ones who love original hardcore and get made fun of for liking strength within, to the Folk lover, who is just too trendy for his own good.  This spreads to the kids who loves ALL TIME LOW way too much.  THere's one of them that wears a stupid patch jacket... he should grow up.   Each of these kids speak of other genres and the kids that follow them as if they have supreme knowledge of every type of music scene that exists out there, but really its just their way of covering up insecurities of not knowing much about other cultures, thus belittling them to make the culture they love the most, no matter how trendy that culture may currently be, be the "top" culture.

These kids do not date that often, however when they do, usually, this is the surprising part from a Malone Student.  It is because they truely like someone and wish to spend more time with them, and believe it or not they date girls with personality who are enjoyable to be around instead of these constant cloned girls that keep coming out of this college group.  

Tattoos are a huge part of the Malone Scene kid's life, if they dont have a bunch of tattoos, they know the tattoos they want to have soon.  They will defend each of their own tattoos til death, however when one person does somethign deviating from what they think a tattoo should be like, he will be talked down.  This is sad but true.

In the long run the majority of these kids are either Youth ministry majors, Music production majors, or business majors because those ones actually want a job when they graduate.

Acts 14: 22 and 23

This book about the acts of the apostles is phenomenal, In fact it is probably my 2nd favorite book of the Bible, first being Ephesians.

But God spoke tonight.

Verses 22 and 23 go. strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith. "We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God," they said.  Paul and Barnabas appointed elders for them in each churc hand, with prayer and fasting committed them to the Lord in whom they had put their trust.

There is alot to be thought about in these 2 verses.  The beginning is about being strengthened by each other.  This relates to the verse, "As iron sharpens iron."  This is what man is designed to do.  Help each other grow in the Lord, to be a stone that makes another man stronger in the word, and in the Lord.  A community of growth would happen if this is how people viewed friendships.

Actually, as I want to say more about these verses, I'm ending here.
Because somehting just clicked in my head.
A new challenge, that i definately felt from God.

How can you (me, anyone reading this) view each friendship you have as a chance of God to sharped you through them, and GOd to sharpen them through you?
This is another challenge this week.
Look at your friendships.  See how they sharpen or dull you? and how do u sharpen or dull them?
ANd how can u improve this?
the final challenge is Doing it. Go make each encounter with a person a chance to be sharpened!

Something once said to me by a bright young fellow that still resonates in my mind

About a year ago, Zeke Miller was struggling w/ a recent removal from his church, and finding out exactly where God wanted him to be with his life, at that moment.

Zeke had been struggling with the adjustment from home to school, the losses of many people he really cared about, his mind telling him God was fake, and he had many fears refering to back home.  With then Zeke was then leaving his church, as previously mentioned.  He had found that more often than not, that church had continually hurt him, and had not actually helped his walk with the Lord, but pushed him away, adn that this particular group of people was not helping his family at all in a time of need.

This troubled zeke.
The people who were supposed to be there for him, were not.

What a surprise, imperfect people werent perfect. (this now makes obvious sense to me).

On this i was struggling one day and a great friend at that time, who i have sadly not seen as much lately, Jon King, stopped and talked to me about it all.

He said somethign that at the time was a little insignificant sentence among many other sentences that all revolved around one point that I entirely forget besides this phrase,
"Be the church you wish existed"

Be the church?!
Be a Group of people meeting to talk about the Lord.
This didnt make sense in my mind (yeah i transitioned from talking in 3rd person about myself to just saying I).
I found this statement to be stuck in my mind later that night.
WHy am I so angry w/ the church?
Why dont I just live out what I believe a CHristfollower should Act like, and forgive these people, and show them through actions, not words there is a better way of living?
THoughts on this sprang into my head all night, as i wondered how to better my life to be the church.

This is when Zeke started transitioning back into a Business Major b/c thats where God wants him.
This is something that doesnt make sense to me at all. I am majoring in an economy that is tearing itself apart daily.

However, God is in control. there IS a reason I am majoring in this.
When i realize one of the biggest flaws each christian has, including me relates to money, I realize that majoring in somehting that revolves around money, is a way to learn to manage money so that I can GIVE as much as possible, when I am at a point in my life where I can do this.

This habbit of giving is somehting I need to get myself into.

So here's my challenge in this post.
Give somethign, even if small, or jsut your time, to someone this week. Do someone a service, or listen when you think you have too much going on to hearout whats going on in a friend's life.


Toodles.

acts 13

There were 2 big things that stuck out to me in this passage. one that hit like a brick of joy *that analogy doesnt make sense i know, but owell*  and one that made me think alot

The first is acts 13:38-40
In this Paul is proclaiming foregivness to these people for their sins through/because of CHrist Jesus... No matter ow much wrong they have done they are forgived.
It brings about the idea that there is no amount of wrong that Jesus'  sacrifice couldnt have covered, in fact saying "man i've done alot of wrong things" sorta comes off as are you saying you can outwrong Jesus sacrifice and love for us? Thats almost an insult to my savior.

The second part is the last few verses.
The Jewish leaders did not agree w/ paul, and is shown throughout the passage, however  in the end it shows them doing something that i have found myself doing.

Much gossip and spread of word about Paul had gone on to sort of hurt his reputation. Where as we often call it venting now. its not hte proper way to deal with it. Its gossipping, but it should be prayer.

I wanna explain more but my brain is dead
Goodnight
Zekeasaurus REX!