been tooo long.

I've been out of my Word way to much lately. and This is hopefully a coming back to it.

But today i noticed, Its hard to be a kid, out to bring love to the punk world. It frustrates me over and over,

And i often find myself seeing exactly why a punktype person would not believe in God. I PRECISELY SEE IT.

It kills. it makes me hate who i am. whether its the fact that I look for respect, or the fact that I have to fight for it. WHen it should be given to everyone.

I find Ecclesiastes to see these problems.  Its comforting

3:16 says, In the place of judgement-- wickedness was there, in the place of justice-- wickedness was there

ANd then it says in 4:2 and 3 says, And i Declared the dead, who had already died, are happier than the living, who are still alive, but better than both is he who has not yet been, who has not sen the evil that is done under the sun.

This reminds me.  THe innocence of a child, is what i long for so much, As i see myself continually sin against God, others and myself.  I find that I hate who i am. And I wish i could be brought back to the innocence I once had, Before i became jaded, before i become the kid, who wants to flip out, and mumbles, when his law teacher tells about the christians who constantly cause her greif, "i hate christians" or has to fight to prove the God of the Bible is REAL because he cant live it out alone, b/c he sees God differently than others.

Lord take me back to that childlike innocence Lord, SO i can do it right, so i can not become this.