new year, new look, new mentality(sorta), same old messin up i've always done.

I think about my life, who I am, what I do, alot of I's, its very selfish thoughts when i self relfect haha.  Who my friends are, how they each affect me.
I've grown alot the past 2 years, and I come to realize i have these sins that continually creep up on me, and no matter how hard i work on them, or think about not doing them, i am giving sin the attention, and sooner or later falling back into them again.

There's some thoughts about this that enter my mind.
I forget which theologian said this but i think it was augustine or athanassias said, Love God, and do as you please.

To truely love something, makes me think of Agape love, love NO MATTER FREAKING WHAT!  This love for God is hard to achieve especially when i find myself in situations that make me mentally hate God, even though deep down i still am truely worshipping im and asking him for help through whatever is going on in my current life.  This love, puts what you love first.  It'd be putting God above myself, so when i hate kids, or i look at something too long, or when i find myself ready to just give up or cuss someone out, I have to put God above myself, and remind myself that my body is not my own, but lent to me from God. (It is by his grace that ihave a body and am able to experience positives and negatives of life.)  I remind myself that overcoming these battles is not something of my own pure strength, but something God needs to take over my life to win.  I need to focus on the fact that the world is HIS, and not somethign i have any control over.

This all wraps up in this.... This year, a new start, is God's i need to lose my negative attitude, my worrying, my glaring/staring eyes, my introvertive thoughts, my expectations for music, and everything, to just give this year to God, and God alone. Trade it for his positivity, and love, his control of situations, his eyes that see people for who they are are, and their best, his thoughts of the best, a sound that is glorifying ot the Lord.  This year, I want to realize that sins are what my BODY wants, and not what God wants.

Love the Unloved.